Lubrano did an excellent job of keeping me interested. His insight was thought provoking and the reading provided a lot of first hand examples and at some points in the book I could actually feel the emotion of the author or the candidates that he interviewed. One story that really illustrated the difference in classes particularly caught my attention. I'm not saying that this one is any better than the others, I just remember the way it made me feel.
Joe Terry, a person interviewed by Lubrano gives his account of going out on a date with a girl from the upper class. In it he details the hours of work he did collecting scallop meat for a year in order to take this girl out on a date. When he finally took her out he said that it occurred to him that she had no idea how hard he'd worked to be able to take her out. He says, "I remember being struck by the distinct feeling that it wasn't the event for her that it was for me. And I had intended it to be a big deal for her. It became clear in a moment that she just had no idea of the sacrifices a person like me would have to make to take her out" (171). I just remember feeling sad after reading that story. I can visualize the effort that Joe put in, and it's a story that definitely stuck out to me.
When Barbara Peters went for her first weekend home from college, her family told her "not to get too big for her britches," and that she wasn't that much more intelligent than them just because she went to college. This kind of blows my mind and makes me sad at the same time. I just can't imagine being discouraged on my first weekend home from school.
The interview with Anthony Lukas was even more disturbing to me. He almost has no relationship with his family simply because he attended college (65). His father even became violent at one point when Anthony tried to debate his opinion.Once again, I just can't imagine a reaction like this from my parents. Anthony said that he believes that his father was jealous that his son was going places that he couldn't go. My father is so proud of me for being in college. He wasn't able to go when he was young because there wasn't enough money for him to go. That is probably one of the things that he's been most happy about in his life, the fact that I was able to go to college.
I think that this book does such a good job of accurately describing what it must be like for people in the middle - in limbo. The interviews provided so many perspectives and stories. I thought it was very interesting when the author brought up the perspective of working class parents who have middle class children. Children who didn't have to work for as much as their parents did, or children who just had much more than their parents did. I imagine that having middle class children when you're from the working class might be bittersweet. I can see how the parents would be happy that they'd been able to provide many things for their children, and sad if they feel that their children don't appreciate the hard work it took to get there, sort of like Joe Terry's date story.
Lubrano's Limbo made me consider more things about class than I already had. So many examples and perspectives were given. Each one made me understand a little more about being a straddler. I think it's a tough position to be in whether it's with your family, at school, with peers, or with love interests. Someone in an earlier blog mentioned that their father was planning on reading the book, I was telling my dad some of the things that Lubrano and the interview subjects said - and he also plans on reading the book! After reading I remember feeling happy about where I came from (believe me - not upper class! Haha) and very happy to have the parents that I do.
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Lubrano dedicates a bit of time talking about the resentment that blue-collar or low-class people feel for middle and upper-class people. I was born and raised middle class, possibly even upper-middle, but since about 2003 (and much more obviously since the recession), I and my family's financial situation has changed to the point where we would be hard-pressed to claim that we were middle class. It used to be that my parents could help us out (the kids, I have one brother and one sister) if we got into trouble, but nowadays, that safety net is gone, as are most of my parents' savings.
ReplyDeleteThe reality of the situation at home, with my Dad's blue-collar background (which I highly and mightily described on an earlier post) and my mother's decidedly upper-class background, molded me to prepare for the eventuality of this recession and its effects on my life. In fact, my Dad very often talked about preparing for the bad luck that life could hit you with, and the poop (he used a different word) that people higher up than you could drop down. I suppose I am my father's son; when he was a younger man, my Dad was fired from a few jobs for using some "choice words" in "conversations" with his bosses, and his anger and resentment trickled down to me and my siblings. So too did his anger with himself for not just holding his tongue and keeping the job. In any case, these two sort of conflicting ideas affected me at various times as a kid, and I've grown up with both prudence and honesty among my chief virtues (although honesty has become more important, lately).
This kind of thinking stayed with me throughout this book, especially through the sections in which Lubrano described the resentment that lower classes feel for the silver-spoon-chewing upper class. One sentence in particular, though, stuck out to me: "Blue-collar origins implant defining characteristics that will cause conflicts throughout a life." I don't think Lubrano could be more right about that.
When reading Lubrano, I too felt so devastated when he did the interview with Joe. Being a girl myself, sometimes maybe we do not appreciate the amount of work a guy puts into a date for us. Just because she was upper class, Joe felt that he had to achieve that level of status for her on the date. The sacrifices he made to take her out just broke my heart. Poor guy was probably devastated after the date and maybe thought to himself if it was really worth it?
ReplyDeleteThe whole college interview with Anthony made me so angry! I take it as his father may be jealous of Anthony as well because he is attending college, while his father did not. How can ones parents be so discouraging? Attending college is a big thing and even graduating is bigger for myself. My parents strongly encouraged me to attend college.I would be so upset if my parents reacted the way Anthonys did. College is hard work.
I can fully relate to Barbara Peters story. A couple of years ago when I was home, on a holiday break, visiting my family my grandfather approached me about my social life a grades. I guess my response was a little to "smart", for him. He threatened to pull me out of school as if he paid for my education. My grandfather is a "traditional man" who believes that women belong in the kitchen, he didn’t go to school and I don’t even believe that he graduated from high school. Every now and then, I will attempt to have a conversation with him, and as soon as I begin to challenge his reasons or question him be begins to attack my education. I feel that he is threaten by education and views me questioning as, me getting ahead of myself instead of trying to have an intellectual conversation. Some families have a hard time receiving their family member’s educational status.
ReplyDeleteWhile reading Lubrano, I was able to grasp what it was like for people to live in the middle class. I really enjoyed reading this book, because I liked how in depth the author went about social class and shared many personal stories. The book was a real eye opener and made me so thankful for the support I receive from my parents and the life I live today. The interview with Anthony Lukas caught my attention as soon as I read it. My heart went out to this young man for wanting to stay in school, get a college degreee, and make something of his self one day. I couldn't believe how violent his father became and how he had zero support just for attending college. I am glad Anthony never backed down from his parents. Even though he was not getting the support he continued to do what he believed was right, and get an education. I am the first out of my family to graduate from college and have always been encouraged to do good! My parents didn't have a college degree, but they have never once been bitter of me for going to college. They encouraged it and were strict when it come to college; I had NO CHOICE but to go.
ReplyDeleteThe book definitely kept me interested, and I found myself upset and sad for alot of the people in the book, especially Joe Terry. I agree with what you said about Joe, its a story you can't ever forget after reading the book. Most guys in today's world wouldn't have put forth the dedication and hard work that Joe did just to impress a girl. He was right, his date never realized how hard a guy like him had worked just to take her out on one date. Would she have been impressed? She may have been if she knew that it took Joe a year of collecting scallop meat.
This book has taught me to appreciate the good life that I have and to never let anyone bring you down, not even your own family. I like the blog that you posted Lee!
I believe Lubrano’s book was both insightful and interesting. It was definitely more interesting to read than Fussel’s book. Limbo gives us real-life examples of people and how they have become “straddlers.” Through out the book he really provides personal experiences that really allow us to understand the uncommitted or undecided feelings each individual has on working-class and middle-class.
ReplyDeleteThe most interesting part of the book, for me was Chapter Three. I found it interesting how all the different families acted towards education. Anthony’s story was shocking. It may be true that parents may feel inferior to their child that has/is getting a college education. I believe Anthony’s father may have acted this way based upon their relationship prior to him going to college. Where their child gets his/her education, how smart they are/become from college and what their major is my have an effect on how a parent may treat their child also. There is a clear difference between my sister and I and how my parents view each of us, because she went to a much higher-class college than I did.
A majority of you voiced displeasure with Fussell and praise for Lubrano. I wonder if the general difference in opinions about reading Fussell's book versus Lubrano's can be explained in class terms. That Lubrano's book is only a half dozen years old can account for part of the disparity in my opinion, but I think that the content and stylistic choices made by these two authors are themselves class coded.
ReplyDeleteFussell writes in abstract generalizations about status markers amidst all of the classes. To write about the uber-rich, Fussell must have intimate knowledge of their mores. Indeed, Fussell's social satire (what Lubrano refers to as his "tart cynicism" on p. 167) is suggestive of the well-enough-to-do. Only someone of leisure could afford to take the time to write a study of the classes that has as much fun as he does at their expenses.
Lubrano's subject, on the other hand, requires intimate knowledge of the much more sympathetic working-class. Instead of an aloof stance that may strike some as pretentious (a la Fussell), Lubrano opts for a personal approach. He weaves his autobiography with the stories of other Straddlers to provide an up-close-and-personal perspective of class differences.
Lubrano cites psychologist Barbara Jansen's "flash cards" about the difference between middle and working-class people. He writes, "Working-class people mistrust eggheads, relying more on intuition, common sense, and luck. The middle class is more analytical, depending on cultivated, logical thinking" (21). I wonder if you folks like Lubrano better because his approach to the subject of class is more working-class (observational, matter of fact), while Fussell's is middle or even upper class (cultivated, analytical). One possible irony lies in how both Fussell and Lubrano discuss being a "class traitor." Straddlers move up but don't really fit in. A majority of members of Class X move down but never fit in. Perhaps there's some overlap in these two categories: straddlers and Class Xers live in limbo land.
Lubrano does do a good job of pointing out that some working class families view upward mobility of their children differently than other classes do. Coming from a working class family myself, this is not my personal experience. I am the first in my family to attend college. But my family wanted me to pursue financial security. Granted, they couldn't help me to pay for it. But they were and are great supporters of my education. So, I cant say that Lubrano's portrayal of the working class is accurate. I am sure there are plenty of those families that fall into this category. In fact, my aunt who I used to adore as a child, resented my education because her own daughter had disappointed her. She felt as though I thought I was better than her. But this is a view that is a result of her own insecurities. So I didn't let it bother me too much. There is something to be said for the practicality of the working class finding little to no use for college. Generations of small town people in rural areas may not value what the rest of society says it should value. If you can provide for your family and have time left over at the end of every day to spend with them, then what more could a person ask for? I know that I have spent very long hours at work for days at time and on call 24 hours a day all year long. I didnt have a life of my own. My life belonged to my job. As I got a bit older I realized that was not of value to me. I could invest all of these hours to "get ahead" or I could try living my life now. I prefer the latter. But just as you will have mean spirited people, you will undoubtedly have selfish people or people who feel better by keeping you down where they are. Sometimes these are even our parents. But as society is changing, so should the level of occourence of this type of behavior. Its becoming more and more necessary to have a degree and easier to get one so naturally, competition without a degree will be more difficult. Also, the world is getting smaller. Small towns are streaming live these days so their world views are changing along with everyone else's. I think we will find this phenomenon to fade with time and another one will creep up in its place.
ReplyDeleteLee I completely agree with how well written you thought this book was. Ever since this class began, I continuously catch myself paying closer attention to any “social class” issues I encounter in my day-to-day life. When someone I’m around makes a remark, big or small, that has any regards to social class I ask them to go into detail about what they meant by what they said. Although these experiences have opened my eyes tremendously over the past few weeks to the social class issues I am surrounded by, the interviews and stories in Lubrano’s book were priceless insights I might never personally encounter. He was able to describe the pain and confusion people experience as they journey from working-class origins to middle-class jobs and standards of living.
ReplyDeleteAs for Joe Terry’s story, I agree with you that this stuck out and I imagine it is because most everyone can relate to it. Whether it was a scenario less rigorous, like having to save your allowance for 3 weeks in grade/middle school to buy a Christmas present for your boyfriend/girlfriend only to find out when you get back to school that they had been making fun of your gift with all of their friends or a situation more extreme I’m sure everyone can think of something they have gone through that made them feel the same way Joe did. It makes you question what is more important to you in finding a significant other. Would you rather have someone you can be yourself around and who appreciates you for what you are or would you rather go for a girl/boy “out of your league” that you will have to constantly try to impress and work your whole life at pleasing?
When you brought up the point that it must be hard for the working class parents who have middle class children reminded me of the interview with Jim Neal when he said, “You just don’t find a hell of a lot of arrogant working-class people. And blue-collar people say what they mean. In the end, I avoid people with a sense of entitlement. Until you’ve had hard times, you’re not a complete person. And if you’ve never had them, well, a whole hunk of you is missing.” I couldn’t agree with his quote any more. I feel that until you have dipped down amongst the social classes lower than yours, for any reason or experience, you cannot fully appreciate the person you are and the many things you are blessed with everyday.