Bittersweet Straddling

Lubrano did an excellent job of keeping me interested. His insight was thought provoking and the reading provided a lot of first hand examples and at some points in the book I could actually feel the emotion of the author or the candidates that he interviewed. One story that really illustrated the difference in classes particularly caught my attention. I'm not saying that this one is any better than the others, I just remember the way it made me feel.

Joe Terry, a person interviewed by Lubrano gives his account of going out on a date with a girl from the upper class. In it he details the hours of work he did collecting scallop meat for a year in order to take this girl out on a date. When he finally took her out he said that it occurred to him that she had no idea how hard he'd worked to be able to take her out. He says, "I remember being struck by the distinct feeling that it wasn't the event for her that it was for me. And I had intended it to be a big deal for her. It became clear in a moment that she just had no idea of the sacrifices a person like me would have to make to take her out" (171). I just remember feeling sad after reading that story. I can visualize the effort that Joe put in, and it's a story that definitely stuck out to me.

When Barbara Peters went for her first weekend home from college, her family told her "not to get too big for her britches," and that she wasn't that much more intelligent than them just because she went to college. This kind of blows my mind and makes me sad at the same time. I just can't imagine being discouraged on my first weekend home from school.

The interview with Anthony Lukas was even more disturbing to me. He almost has no relationship with his family simply because he attended college (65). His father even became violent at one point when Anthony tried to debate his opinion.Once again, I just can't imagine a reaction like this from my parents. Anthony said that he believes that his father was jealous that his son was going places that he couldn't go. My father is so proud of me for being in college. He wasn't able to go when he was young because there wasn't enough money for him to go. That is probably one of the things that he's been most happy about in his life, the fact that I was able to go to college.

I think that this book does such a good job of accurately describing what it must be like for people in the middle - in limbo. The interviews provided so many perspectives and stories. I thought it was very interesting when the author brought up the perspective of working class parents who have middle class children. Children who didn't have to work for as much as their parents did, or children who just had much more than their parents did. I imagine that having middle class children when you're from the working class might be bittersweet. I can see how the parents would be happy that they'd been able to provide many things for their children, and sad if they feel that their children don't appreciate the hard work it took to get there, sort of like Joe Terry's date story.

Lubrano's Limbo made me consider more things about class than I already had. So many examples and perspectives were given. Each one made me understand a little more about being a straddler. I think it's a tough position to be in whether it's with your family, at school, with peers, or with love interests. Someone in an earlier blog mentioned that their father was planning on reading the book, I was telling my dad some of the things that Lubrano and the interview subjects said - and he also plans on reading the book! After reading I remember feeling happy about where I came from (believe me - not upper class! Haha) and very happy to have the parents that I do.

Straddling Is Stressful!

Straddling Is Stressful!

First off I want to start by saying I really enjoyed this book. Lubrano did an excellent job of explaining the transition of blue collar to white collar which personal descriptions the whole way. This book was extremely easy to read I found myself wanting to read on because he made such interesting points. My father is actually starting to read it because a number of things he described about his journey and others I feel that my dad can relate to almost exactly.

I love that Lubrano starts is Introduction section of the book with “I am two people” This little phrase examples more than I could have imagined before started to read this book. I never thought of people feeling like that are two different people because of what they came from and where they are now. I love that he ingeniously uses the term “Straddlers” and that they are in “Limbo” to describe the transition between blue collar and what we know of as the middle class. There arnt two better words to explain this phase.

I feel like the majority of this book the blue collar parents’ just want what is best for their children. When he talks about his father being a bricklayer and how his father had build many colleges, condos, and office towers that he wasn’t even allowed in. he says “once the walls were up, a place took on a different feel for him, as though he wasn’t welcome anymore.” I feel like this could represent a lot of the feelings the people had throughout the book. Also he talks about when the white collar kids of blue-collar parents look or a place of work they are looking for a career not a job. I feel like this message is powerful because a lot of the blue collared parents (same as his dad) just wanted their kids to have a job, an income no matter what. The children, on the other hand, wanted a career no matter what the money which is were there could be a misunderstanding. He said his dad told him “Make as much money as you can, to pay for as good a life you can get.” Obviously his dad just wants him to be well off, but he wanted different things out of his career not just the money. I feel like these were a perfect example of his “clash of values” because the kids from their parents just have different values.

Straddlers for me is an impactful word because it is the truth. When interviewing the author lets us know that many of these people feel that they don’t know how to act when in certain worlds. Such as under the Office Politics the author gives examples of how his father would react to certain situation and he is trying to tell his father that in the office you cant do that. For example, his dad says “Next time, you grab the guy by the throat, push him against the wall, and tell him he’s a big fat jerk.” Obviously this would never work in the office, but his father doesn’t understand that. Also of the interviewees were straddlers for not know how to act or changing even their tone of voice when with certain people.

When the book talks about Identity changing and how college corrupts, I can really get a feel for how these people feel. I agree that as the book says “College is where the Great Change begins.” I truly feel that if someone is from a blue collar family and they are pushing themselves to go to college they are already changing. They have different goals and dreams so they are already becoming these “Straddlers.” When Greg Andrews the history professor says, “Every bit of learning takes you further from your parents” I agree with this statement to a degree. My father was the first and only member of his family to go to college and graduate and his parents could not understand him. I feel like to this day they still to not understand his accomplishment because his parents and siblings’ cant relate so they don’t understand. Is this true in all cases? No, but I am sure it is for a lot of people and the few examples in this book.

As a whole I thought this book was really good. I like that it opened my eyes to certain things I may have overlooked in the past and raise some very good points. Now I find myself wondering do the “straddlers” every get comfortable in each side or will they always have the stress of not completely fitting into one or both sides? Can the blue-collared parents ever truly understand their white collared kids? Will they always feel like they are two people?